Prayer for Motherhood
O good St Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and wonder worker of our day, confidently I call upon you and seek your aid.  On Earth you always fulfilled God's designs, help me now to do the holy will of God.  Implore the Master of Life, from whom all paternity proceeds, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life, and in the world to come, heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory.
Amen. 
   

Prayer for a Safe Delivery
O great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted child of Mother of God, enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love.
O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine Master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the patron and protector of expectant mothers.
Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the purifying and life-giving waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
 

Prayer in Thanks of a Safe Delivery
Good Saint Gerard, patron of mothers, assist me in thanking God for the great gift of motherhood. During the months of my waiting, I learned to call upon you and placed the safety of my child and myself under your powerful protection. The great lesson of your trust in God sustained me; your slogan, "God will provide," became my hope and consolation. I thank God for my child and for motherhood. Help me to prize the great treasure of motherhood and obtain for me the grace to raise my child as a child of God.
Amen.

Trying to conceive! Why me, Am I not right?
I can't ovulate, there's no egg in sight.

Why do I have all these complications?
Hopefully I'll ovulate with all these medications.

I pray to God, Just give me a sign.
If I take this Clomid, Will everything be fine?

Now I'm just playing a simple waiting game.
Waiting for a baby that already has a name.

So many months, so many tests.
I'm praying to God that we become blessed!

All I can do is wait and see.
God, Please give a healthy baby to me!


~The waiting game~


You decide to Try to conceive, It's more like the waiting game
You really want a baby, You better be ready for the waiting game
You start to track your BBT, here goes the waiting game
You finally get your period, this really starts the waiting game
Now it's time to ovulate, you better like the waiting game
Baby Dancing is usually fun, until your playing the waiting game
Now on to the 2ww, gosh I hate this waiting game
It's finally time to test, Finally the end of the waiting game
Oh wait it was a BFN, Here we go again, with the waiting game
I got my period again, Gosh I hate this waiting game
The start of a new cycle, I am so tired of this waiting game
The thought of a precious baby to love and cherish forever, Bring on that waiting game

EMPTY ARMS, HOLLOW HEARTS
WHEN IS IT MY TURN?
PRECIOUS AND INNOCENT
LOVE TO PROVIDE.
LORD, WHERE IS MINE?
CRADLES AND PACIFIRES
MY HEARTS ONE TRUE DESIRE.

MOMMY IS WHO I WANT TO BE

SO SMALL AND TINY
FIRST TIME GIGGLES
FOR DADDY TO SEE.
CHEERLEADING OR LITTLE LEAGUE
- MOMMY'S MVP

GOD SEND YOUR ANGEL TO ME
THE PLANS HAVE BEEN MADE.
THE NAMES HAVE BEEN READY
ITS THE BABY, IM WAITING.




I USE TO WRITE YOUR NAME, OF WHO I'D THINK YOU'D BE.
NOW I JUST DRAW CIRCLES WHERE YOUR NAME USE TO BE.
I CANT FIND IT IN ME, ITS LIKE MY PEN IS BROKE - MY HEART!
THE PAPER WILL SET EMPTY AS I TRY TO WAIT.
NAMING A BABY I DONT HAVE, IS JUST SOMETHING I CANT TAKE.

Though it seems to consume me to the point of insanity
I keep the dreams of you.


You're not here!

We long for the chance to see its our turn.
Good parents we know we'd be with Hugs and Kisses to spare.
Turn on the news, none of this we see.
Only to seek the answers to, Why?


How is it so easy for them and not for me?
Isn't this what a women is suppose to do?


Be patient and wait,
A daily phrase I hear.
To be me inside my shoes
-Empty.
Perhaps another phrase they'd choose.


Why does this seem like a job
So much work and nothing to show?
Why does trying to make a dream,
feel like such a Nightmare?


Doctors and visits. Test and Drugs
Ultrasounds and Questions
Answers to none.
Surgery and bills pilling to the top
Will this ever stop?


The part of me - to make me incomplete.
The heartache you just dont see.
The family I wish to have, in Christmas cards to write.
The tears fall endless - this bitter part of me.



All I do is dream about the day that I will get those two lines

The two lines that will change my life forever

The two lines that will make me the happiest woman alive

The two lines that will make my husband the happiest man alive

 

 



Those 2 lines is all I ever ask god for

Those 2 lines is what I most want in life

 

 

 

I cry every time I see only one line

 Month after Month

Tear after Tear

Heartbreak after Heartbreak

 

 



Do I give up or Keep Going?

Does god have a plan for me?

Does he not think were ready?

Is my family just my husband and I?

Is this were the family ends?

 

 



All I want was to see those 2 lines come up

All I want was to hear the first heart beat

All I want was to feel him or her move in me

All I want is to hear there first cry

Hear there first word

 

 



Is that a lot to ask?

As I sit here writing this poem

I have tears running down my face.

Imagining how nice it would be to have all these things happing to me

God has a plan for me so I wait and hope that plan is what I most want

 

&

 

What I most want is to be a

"Momma"



What is this journey we are on???

It is an extremely rough road and one that strains you to the brink emotionally, physically, and mentally...

It causes you to question your abilities as a woman...

It makes you cry at the drop of a pin...

You have to endure numerous doctors' appts where you are poked and prodded and you leave the offices wondering, "When will it end? What is the answer to all this?" ...

It forces you to experience horrific agonizing pain and to suffer through many tests and procedures...

It causes you to educate yourself so much on the subject that you could practically become a doctor yourself (so you think)...

You change your whole way of living and how you treat your body...

You become envious of others who have what you want and yet seem to not appreciate what they have...

You avoid certain parties not to be rude or selfish, but for your own self preservation...

You take medications and pills that drastically alter your body's systems...

It tests you as a person to the last thread of existance and you are amazed you survive...

You try things you never in your life you never imagined as you are desperate and you hope they will work, but they don't...

It causes you to experience every emotion known to mankind from fear to sadness, from hope to crushing despair, from worry to optimism...

You spend a lot of money on things you are not sure will work just because it once worked for some one else...

You spend money on appts and procedures without insurance helping as the insurance company feels it is not "medically necessary"...

Your intimate life is on display and your personal life is practically public news it feels like...

It causes you to reevaluate your entire life and question if somewhere along the way you did something wrong or if you could have prvented this. But you didn't and you couldn't...

You deal with peoples' insensitive and unsolicited comments and lame advice when all you want to do is tell them it is none of their business...

You only want support and hugs from people. That is it, but that seems to be so hard for people to understand...

You experiment with herbs and try every Old Wives' Tale out there hoping they will solve your problem, but they don't ...

You deal with people who are ignorant and do not understand...

You join a support group...

You get angry and then hopeful beyond belief...

Your faith in God is strengthened and you pray a million times a day to God, St. Jude, Angels, anyone that will help and listen carry your prayers to the Lord God Almighty...

So many times you want to give up, but the little hope in your heart forces you to keep trying...

You deal with rude people who question why you keep trying, what you are doing to try to help your situation, and why you pray the way you do...

It strengthens your marriage bond as you weep together, suffer together, hope together, and pray together...

It strengthens you as a woman and you are now a fortress who can stand up to anything...

It is called INFERTILITY...and it hurts...

 

What Makes a Mother

By: Unknown

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.

A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay

I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared
His throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say

"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My mommy set me free.

I
miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a
Mother,
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
And then they'll know you're a special one!


 

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord

 

So many months I have longed for and waited

So many weeks I pray in desperation

I wait and I wait and yet nothing

My womb is vacant and my tears are all I know

 

Who knew a period could bring so much pain?

When do I get my lasting angel in my womb?

My heart crumbles to pieces as the tears fall down

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

Another month I will have to wait

Another cycle crushing my hopes, dreams, and no answer to my prayers

When will I have been patient enough, oh Lord?

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

So many times I have wept on my knees

So many appointments, procedures, and tests

So many heart aches I can't begin to explain

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

My empty womb aches for a baby

And instead I get loneliness and emptiness

The fear and reality set in

How much can one woman handle?

 

So many others I know get the blessing they pray for

So many others get what I want so much

I am happy for them, yet buried in my own despair

When God when, will you answer MY prayer???

 

I try everything I can think of and listen to everyone's advice, but inside I am screaming how unfair this life is

What is this hell I must survive?

How much heart ache is meant to be my thorn?

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

I pray and I pray.

They say God never gives us more than we can handle.

He in some way always answers our prayers...

When is it my time to be happy, oh Lord?

 

Infertility is such an ugly word...

So many disappointments and nightmares I face

I saw three positives and yet no live angel of my own

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

Angels of mine sent to heaven before their time

I weep for my babies I never held in my arms

The brief joy and love that welled up in my heart

Swept away in grief, fear, and anguish...

 

We try and we try and we pray from the depths of our souls

Yet nothing happens but more tests and suffering

We attempt to stay hopeful, yet for how long can we stand?

When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?

 

Emotionally and physically I feel the heavy weight

Not many understand this horror that I face

I only want to be a mommy...yet I get emptiness instead

When have I suffered enough, oh Lord?

 

The weeks, months, and years go by.



I suffer and I struggle and yet some how I survive.

My darling husband holds me as I cry.

He cries in the darkness, alone on his own, afraid to show his sorrow.

 

I will continue to pray for my baby I long for as long as I live

My heart will continue to ache for my baby I long for

I will continue to weep for my baby I long for


When is it my turn to be a mommy, oh Lord?


INFERTILITY

Infertility feels like a disability
Tired, so tired of the predictability

Infertility, O how it humbles me
I don't want to stumble or crumble
But, somedays I just cannot handle
Yes, It feels like a scandal

Infertility, O God how I hate Infertility
I just need to separate from this fate
How this can debilitate
And suffocate

Infertility this horrible deniability
Lord knows I need some tranquillity



My Unborn Child

As I sit here and think of you;
I wonder if my dreams of you will ever come true.
Though your not here for me to touch,
I know it sounds crazy but,
I already love you so much.
All I need is a chance from up above
to give me that miracle
that will live inside of me for nine months.
Many months go by with a negative everytime.
The hurt and pain seem to never go away
because life with out you is so incomplete.
Daddy and I wonder if you'll have
is blue eyes or brown like mine.
He wants to hold you when you cry and sing lullabies.
See, Daddy wants you here just as much as I.
All Daddy and I can do is hope and pray for
little bundle of joy to come our way.
We don't care if your pink or blue,
either will do,
as long as we get to have you.

An Unfinished Mother 
When child loss occurs, a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning. "Am I still a mother?" "Does my child still have a birthday each year, or does time stand still?" "Can the mother/child relationship continue to grow, or am I now an 'unfinished mother'?"

Losing a child places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected—one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning, but with the death of the child, there is no middle and no end. Everything seems so unfinished. Hopes and dreams were stopped far too soon. Joy was snatched away so suddenly. A mother is left with empty arms and an empty heart. Nothing can ever be complete when a child's life ends.

When the death of a child occurs, a mother is stopped in her tracks, and she suddenly feels inadequate and incomplete. She wears a new name. She is an "unfinished mother", never being able to see the rest of the picture. She will never be able to watch her child mature into a young adult. She will never be able to see all the pieces fit together. The picture will always have part of the scenery missing. It is so painful to be an unfinished mother! Child loss makes everything seem so empty and incomplete.

The reality of child loss is devastating to a mother. There are overwhelming feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and most often feelings of failure. These feelings can overwhelm a mother for several months following the death of a child, and it can be quite difficult to build a support system to carry a mother through this roller coaster of emotions. Very few people will understand a mother's explanation of feeling like she is an unfinished mother.

There will come a critical point in this journey of grief when a mother must reach deep inside her inner resources and make a conscious decision to accept herself just as she is—a mother whose heart has been touched by the pain and grief of child loss. Only then can she start to put together some of the broken pieces and begin to feel like there will be a day when she will feel more like a complete mother than an unfinished mother.

When a child dies, life is suddenly thrown completely off balance. A mother is left feeling like her identity has been taken away. It is often a long difficult journey to find that place of identity as a mother again. It's hard to understand that there is unfinished living that will never be completed. Peace can finally come to a mother's heart when she realizes that there is a big difference between having unfinished business and being left feeling like an unfinished mother.

A mother is never "unfinished." No matter how brief her time was with her child, the bond of love between mother and child was complete. A mother's love for her child is unending. Dreams may shatter and circumstances may change, but a mother's love remains strong. As a mother travels the path to healing, it is important for her to remind herself often that she is a mother forever. Her motherhood did not stop when her child died. This understanding of motherhood releases the feelings of guilt and failure and allows a mother to begin to see herself as a whole person again—a complete mother.

A mother is never an "unfinished mother." A mother's love runs far too deep to ever be called unfinished

What Happened to My Baby? 
There is nothing quite like sharing the exciting news that a new baby is on the way. Almost immediately talk begins about where to put the nursery, what kind of crib to buy, and how wonderful the holidays will be with a new baby in the family. Life takes on new meaning, and all talk centers around the excitement of the coming little one.

High on the list of discussions is hearing the baby's first heartbeat. That one event is always a monumental event. Often, many phone calls are made to friends and relatives letting them know how exciting it was to hear the swoosh swoosh sound of the baby's heart beating. Even more exciting is watching the baby's heart on the first ultrasound. There is nothing quite like seeing the rhythmic beating of your own little miracle!

One of the biggest devastations any mother can experience is when she goes to the doctor fully expecting to hear the sound of her baby's heart beating, and instead, the room echoes only silence. There are no words that can come close to explaining the emptiness that suddenly rushes in where just moments before there was only joy. A mother is left asking the only question that comes to mind, "What happened? What happened to my baby?"

Early pregnancy loss is more common than we like to think. Many statistics give a figure of fifty percent of all pregnancies ending in miscarriage. With today's highly sensitive technology, it is possible to detect a baby's heartbeat as early as seven weeks. This means that very early in a pregnancy the level of excitement is running high along with the expectations of holding a baby.

It is an extremely painful grief when a mother has to suddenly and unexpectedly shift gears from joyful anticipation to shattered dreams in a matter of only moments. There is an emotional shock as well as a physical reversal that must be dealt with, and that is certainly no easy task.

It is very common for a mother to slip into a slight depression following the sudden, unexpected, unexplained loss of her baby. She is left with the emptiest feeling ever—the very life she once supported has ended. Unfortunately, not all people will understand the pain and grief of early pregnancy loss, and the lack of support complicates the grieving process even more. An overwhelming feeling of being alone can soon take over a mother's empty heart.

Experiencing this type of unexpected loss is extremely difficult for a mother. Her body and mind are forced into a quick reversal, and she will be faced head-on with the hard reality of loss. During this time of physical and emotional relocation and adjustment, it is extremely important for a mother to get proper rest, eat nutritious meals, and keep well hydrated.

Very rarely are there any real answers as to why the baby's heart stopped beating, and that adds to the grief and pain of loss. We want answers, and we expect answers, but the fact is that often there are no answers to be found. Fear of future pregnancies becomes a common side effect of early pregnancy loss, and can compound grief issues.

Early pregnancy loss is a difficult, painful loss and requires a lot of hard work to get through the emotional roller coaster. By not rushing the grief process, a mother can deal with the physical and emotional changes taking place. Each day will become one more day closer to healing



Here in this tranquil moment in communion with you dear God, we renew our faith, empty our mind from negativity and free ourselves of all concerns; as we turn our thoughts to your presence we feel safe and calm.


As we pray to be blessed with children:

We thank you dear God for all the blessings you have provided us and for the eternal love that comes every day from your presence in our lives.

As we pray to be blessed with children:

We embrace your healing light to restore our bodies, mind and soul from all that is keeping us from conceiving children so we can welcome the joy of parenthood into our lives.

As we pray to be blessed with children:

We strive to gain strength, patience and the ability to face the difficulties of infertility with high spirits, confidence and serenity knowing that your love and infinite wisdom are guiding our feet to the right path leading us to the children we have been awaiting for so long.

As we pray to be blessed with children:

We open ourselves to your love dear God, and we humbly ask you, the creator of life, to grant us the precious gift that we so longingly seek: the ability to bring children to the love of our families, children whom we will raise to know your name and your infinite love.

As we pray to be blessed with children:

We ask for the energy and the vitality to take us through the challenges and rewards of pregnancy and to carry our children to term and to be blessed with a safe delivery.

Another one I found on line. This is BEAUTIFUL!

Dear Friend
by Kim Notehelfer

Dear Friend,

Will you be someone who understands?

Will you understand when I tell you that I need a friend
Who will listen as I share about my journey through infertility?

So many others have only had advice;
Miracle stories, herb teas and new love-making positions.

Will you understand month after month when I need to share
My disappointment from another unsuccessful attempt?

Will you understand when I tell you that I rage and pound my fists at God
Because He doesn't seem to hear me and take away this pain?

Will you know how to pray for me when I can no longer pray for myself?
Will you know how to send me a card to remind me that I am not alone?

Will you understand the tears that well up when you tell me you are pregnant?

Will you understand that I celebrate with you, yet long for the day
When a friend's pregnancy doesn't remind me of my barrenness?

Will you understand when I start to pull away when your tummy begins to bulge?

As much as I long to share in the excitement, I find the ache too much
As other women encircle you and the conversation turns to motherhood.

Will you understand when I don't come to your baby shower?

I can't imagine the strength I will need to hold back the tears
In the midst of baby clothes, breastfeeding tips and birth stories.

Will you understand when your baby is born and I don't come to visit right away?

Please know that I long to hold your child and congratulate you in person
But holding a newborn in my arms spirals me into a place of envy and pain.

Will you understand that my empty arms are still heavy with the grief they carry?
Will you understand that your greatest joy is my deepest sorrow?

When the months turn into years, and you are expecting your second child
Will you understand that I still long to bear a child in my womb?

Will you still be my friend?




PCOS

I wonder why these things happen to me,
I carry around a silent killer you see.

This could be a death sentence you know,
Since there is no cure, off to treatment I go.

Decisions decisions, tons to make,
Which kind of medicine do I take.

We endure the needles, tests, and exams
In hopes to feel healthy and normal again

Its odd to see that Drs don't know much more than me
For I have researched this disease too you see.

Several symptoms big our self esteem down
So don't be surprised when we wear a frown.

We need lots of support as each day goes by
Even if its someone we love calling to say Hi

The road that must be traveled is long and winding
But we keep on with hopes of a cure in hiding.

Day to Day, Meds to Meds
All the silly or odd things running thru our heads


A MOM WANNABE

I want to be a mom. But I can't. Instead, I'm a mom wannabe. I want to procreate. I want to conceive a child naturally with my husband, in the privacy of our home, in the spirit of love and passion, in the way God intended. But I can't.

Instead, I suspect a doctor and a drugs will try to assist God with our conception while my husband waits for the 'ok'.. I want to have sore breasts and be totally exhausted, then discover that my period is several days late. I want to buy a pregnancy test and pee on a stick. I want to see a second line. I want to cry tears of joy for the news we'd discover. I want to surprise my husband with the news that he is going to be a daddy. I want to see the look on his face. But I can't. Instead, I cry tears of pain every month when it doesn't happen and I cry to my husband, "Why??" and I apologize for being defective, because he is fine.

I want to experience morning sickness. I want my hormones to go haywire. I want the 'pregnant glow.' I want to have my husband talk to my belly. But I can't. I want to take pre-natal vitamins. I want to eat for two. I want to schedule my first doctor's visit. I want to sit in the waiting room with other pregnant women and know that I am one of them. But I can't.

Instead, I wonder if those pregnant women ever had problems conceiving and if they are taking that little miracle for granted. I think how cute they look as they waddle with their big bellies. I smile at babies that are not mine. I ache from loving someone I've never met. I want to hear the Doctor say, "You're pregnant. Your progress is right on schedule." But I can't.

Instead, I hear my well-meaning friends say "just relax." Wow! If I had known anxiety was an effective form of birth control, I'd have tried it years ago! I wanted to surprise my parents with a new grandchild; instead I burdened them with the news that we are having problems conceiving. I want my life to change overnight. I want to read What to Expect When You're Expecting. But I can't. Instead, I read When Empty Arms Leave a Heavy Burden.

I want to wear maternity clothes and rub my belly (but not too much because it annoys the heck out of me when pregnant women do that continuously!) I want to monitor the progress. I want to see the ultrasounds. I want to hear the heartbeat. I want stretch marks. I want to watch our baby grow. I want to feel the kicks. I want to be measured. But I can't.

Instead, I give blood, get poked and prodded and have take meds daily. I pray for my eggs to grow and pray they fertilize. I take my temperature and try to interpret every little rise and dip, and how it compares with my temperature pattern last month. I examine every bodily secretion that comes out of my body, hoping and praying for spotting at just the right times, and no spotting at others. I take supplements. I wait. I pray. I wait for the one phone call that can make our life better. Or worse.

I want to decorate the nursery. I want to childproof our home. I want to shop for adorable, soft, tiny outfits. I want to shop at Gymboree. I want to save money for the baby's future. But I can't.

Instead, I imagine a crib in the empty room down the hall. I avoid the baby stores in the mall. I want to be the one to excuse myself to go nurse my baby. Instead, I'm the one stuck at the table with all the husbands. I want to use a car seat. I want to pump. I want to have my baby throw up all over me. I want to change dirty diapers. I want to give baths. I want to watch my husband hold our baby from across the room. But I can't.

Instead, I watch him with our nieces and love the way he loves them, but get my heart broken each time I see it. I want to see him love OUR baby. I want to tell my friends about how my baby learned to roll over, or say da-da, or how he took his diaper off and threw it across the room. I want to buy my baby new shoes. But I can't.

Instead, we will spend our money on doctor appointments, tests and high tech procedures. We will spend our money on a dream. We may be left with an empty bank account. We may be left with empty arms. I want to share the experience with my pregnant friends. I want to compare symptoms. I want to be the guest of honor at a baby shower. But I can't. Instead, I watch my friends get pregnant quickly. I watch their bellies grow, attend their showers, see their pictures and try to be a good friend. I watch their lives change and our friendships change in front of my eyes. I want my belly to drop. I want my water to break. I want contractions. I want my husband by my side and my family in the waiting room. I want the pushing. I want the pain. I want to hear the cry. But I can't.

Instead, I feel a different pain. I hear my own cry. Yes, I even hear the cry of my husband which hurts more than I had ever imagined. I want to hold our baby in my arms, with tears of joy streaming down our faces. I want the nurses to take a picture of us when our baby is only minutes old. I want to experience the miracle of birth, thinking, "We did it!", but knowing that God did it. But I can't.

Instead, I hold my husband in my arms with tears of sorrow streaming down our faces and wonder what God's plan is for us and why we have to go through this. I want to pray that one extra special blessing be added to my life. And I do. I pray my 1000th unanswered prayer to God and hope that this time He answers. I pray for the miracle of life that only God can give. I pray that someday soon, He will give it to us. I want to be a mom. --- But I can't. Instead, I am right where God wants me to be: thankful for our blessings, searching out His will, basking in His grace, trusting in His perfect plan, praying for a change in status from a mom wannabe . . . to the mom I want to be.