16 Things Women Suffering from Infertility do NOT want to hear and my answers:
1. Any sort of "advice" such as "lay with legs open", "try this position", "maybe it is him", "take your temp", "get drunk", "do this or that"…you get my point!
I have already tried everything under the sun and your comments and advice are annoying and unsolicited! Keep them to yourself! I listen to my DOCTORS! Not random people!
2. "I didn't have a problem getting pregnant!"
Gee, thanks for rubbing it in, BITCH!!!
3. "Why don't you just adopt?"
Why don't you just shut up and mind your own business??? We have many options to try before we decide to adopt and besides we would like to try to have our ownoffspring with my egg and my hubby's sperm!
4. "Are you pregnant YET?!"
Don't you think you would have heard me screaming if I was?! No, I am NOT, but thanks for reminding me of that!
5. "What is wrong with you that you can't get pregnant? Hurry up!"
Mmm…we would love to "hurry up" and get pregers, but right now we are messing around with this cursed thing called INFERTILIY, you ass! That is what is wrong!
6. "What's the hurry any way?!"
What makes you think you decide when we start a family?! We want a baby very badly at this moment! That is the hurry…if you call the 3 years we have been trying to conceive a hurry! And waiting is not going to make our infertility easier! In fact, conceiving gets MORE difficult the older women get!
7. "Relax and it will happen!"
No it won't as "relaxing" will not cure my endometriosis, t-shaped uterus, or uterine septum…So SHUT UP!!!
8. "Don't try so hard and it will happen!"
Ok, again, same as above in 7! And you are either trying or not trying, so…DUH!
9. "So and So is pregnant, isn't that nice?!"
Sure it is…but it is bitter sweet! Thanks for reminding me how I do not have kids! Do I care if someone I haven't seen in like 8 yrs is having a baby?! I think, "Why not me? So and so didn't even want kids!" I dwell in my own misery and grit my teeth while pretending to be happy for these girls I barely know and who get pregnant like it is as easy as brushing your teeth! BTW, if a close friend, that is cool. We have an understanding to stick by each other no matter what.
10. "Everyone we know seems to be pregnant except you!"
Oh, gee, thanks for pointing out that painfully obvious fact, you insensitive swine!
Maybe next you can kill my family and kick my dog, huh?!
11. "Infertility is God's way of saying you shouldn't have kids!"
Read the Bible, you uneducated freak! It says the opposite! (Also see my blog on people against infertility for more facts!) And I have heard the "God has a plan" and I know you are just encouraging me to keep my faith and be strong, but that just makes me think you are saying God wanted me to be miserable and I believe in a compassionate God!!!
12. "Infertility drugs are unnatural!"
So is your hair color, but that didn't stop you! What is unnatural about me trying to become a mommy?! (Again, see that blog I mentioned!)
13. "I know what you are going through, it was the longest 3 months of my life to get pregnant!"
Ummm…yeah, unless you have been trying for over a year, it in not infertility. I
have been trying for 3 yrs, so go to hell you tactless toad! And unless you have
suffered through the tests, procedures, and treatments I have, you have not endured ANYTHING!!!
14. "It will happen!"
I know you mean well, but having a baby is a miracle, not a guarantee!!! And with infertility, this comment is like rubbing salt in a wound as it is so painfully obvious that the reality is IT MIGHT NOT EVER HAPPEN!
15. "Well, if it doesn't happen, the world will go on!" and "It just wasn't meant to be!"
Wow, thanks for the love and support! Great encouraging words! And if you
suddenly are stricken with a plague, my life would go on too and I guess it was "meant to be"! But in reality, sure, my life would go on…and it would contain a black empty hole in my heart and cause my empty arms to ache terribly! It is hard enough for me to stay positive without people making purposeless negative comments!
16. "Ya know, kids are a lot of work and once you have them, you are stuck with them! Wait a while!"
Ummm...thanks?! Like, hello! I am looking forward to having that work and "being stuck" with my baby! Not saying I will smile with glee at a poopy diaper at 3am, but I will smile at my precious miracle! And my husband and I will decide when WE are ready to ttc and we have been ttc for 3 yrs, so back off! Maybe YOU made a bad decision, but doesn't mean ours is!
Like basket ball player Dwyane Wade said to ESPN, "It's my life. I
know what I can take on!"
1. Any sort of "advice" such as "lay with legs open", "try this position", "maybe it is him", "take your temp", "get drunk", "do this or that"…you get my point!
I have already tried everything under the sun and your comments and advice are annoying and unsolicited! Keep them to yourself! I listen to my DOCTORS! Not random people!
2. "I didn't have a problem getting pregnant!"
Gee, thanks for rubbing it in, BITCH!!!
3. "Why don't you just adopt?"
Why don't you just shut up and mind your own business??? We have many options to try before we decide to adopt and besides we would like to try to have our ownoffspring with my egg and my hubby's sperm!
4. "Are you pregnant YET?!"
Don't you think you would have heard me screaming if I was?! No, I am NOT, but thanks for reminding me of that!
5. "What is wrong with you that you can't get pregnant? Hurry up!"
Mmm…we would love to "hurry up" and get pregers, but right now we are messing around with this cursed thing called INFERTILIY, you ass! That is what is wrong!
6. "What's the hurry any way?!"
What makes you think you decide when we start a family?! We want a baby very badly at this moment! That is the hurry…if you call the 3 years we have been trying to conceive a hurry! And waiting is not going to make our infertility easier! In fact, conceiving gets MORE difficult the older women get!
7. "Relax and it will happen!"
No it won't as "relaxing" will not cure my endometriosis, t-shaped uterus, or uterine septum…So SHUT UP!!!
8. "Don't try so hard and it will happen!"
Ok, again, same as above in 7! And you are either trying or not trying, so…DUH!
9. "So and So is pregnant, isn't that nice?!"
Sure it is…but it is bitter sweet! Thanks for reminding me how I do not have kids! Do I care if someone I haven't seen in like 8 yrs is having a baby?! I think, "Why not me? So and so didn't even want kids!" I dwell in my own misery and grit my teeth while pretending to be happy for these girls I barely know and who get pregnant like it is as easy as brushing your teeth! BTW, if a close friend, that is cool. We have an understanding to stick by each other no matter what.
10. "Everyone we know seems to be pregnant except you!"
Oh, gee, thanks for pointing out that painfully obvious fact, you insensitive swine!
Maybe next you can kill my family and kick my dog, huh?!
11. "Infertility is God's way of saying you shouldn't have kids!"
Read the Bible, you uneducated freak! It says the opposite! (Also see my blog on people against infertility for more facts!) And I have heard the "God has a plan" and I know you are just encouraging me to keep my faith and be strong, but that just makes me think you are saying God wanted me to be miserable and I believe in a compassionate God!!!
12. "Infertility drugs are unnatural!"
So is your hair color, but that didn't stop you! What is unnatural about me trying to become a mommy?! (Again, see that blog I mentioned!)
13. "I know what you are going through, it was the longest 3 months of my life to get pregnant!"
Ummm…yeah, unless you have been trying for over a year, it in not infertility. I
have been trying for 3 yrs, so go to hell you tactless toad! And unless you have
suffered through the tests, procedures, and treatments I have, you have not endured ANYTHING!!!
14. "It will happen!"
I know you mean well, but having a baby is a miracle, not a guarantee!!! And with infertility, this comment is like rubbing salt in a wound as it is so painfully obvious that the reality is IT MIGHT NOT EVER HAPPEN!
15. "Well, if it doesn't happen, the world will go on!" and "It just wasn't meant to be!"
Wow, thanks for the love and support! Great encouraging words! And if you
suddenly are stricken with a plague, my life would go on too and I guess it was "meant to be"! But in reality, sure, my life would go on…and it would contain a black empty hole in my heart and cause my empty arms to ache terribly! It is hard enough for me to stay positive without people making purposeless negative comments!
16. "Ya know, kids are a lot of work and once you have them, you are stuck with them! Wait a while!"
Ummm...thanks?! Like, hello! I am looking forward to having that work and "being stuck" with my baby! Not saying I will smile with glee at a poopy diaper at 3am, but I will smile at my precious miracle! And my husband and I will decide when WE are ready to ttc and we have been ttc for 3 yrs, so back off! Maybe YOU made a bad decision, but doesn't mean ours is!
Like basket ball player Dwyane Wade said to ESPN, "It's my life. I
know what I can take on!"
