Adoption Information
For those who wish to become parents but are having difficulty becoming pregnant, or for various other reasons choose not to, adoption is one possible option. International adoption, for example, has garnered lots of publicity as of late, with many A-List celebrities choosing to become parents of foreign children.
However, there are many adoption resources available here in the United States, with over a hundred thousand infants waiting to be adopted at any given time. Or perhaps you're considering international adoption; find out about this process at International Adoption. But before making any decisions, you will need to learn about the eligibility requirements for becoming an adoptive parent.
And no matter where you choose to adopt your baby from, you will want to educate yourself on whether or not you want an open or closed adoption (meaning if you want your child to have knowledge of his birth parents or not). Regardless of which one you choose, however, many potential adoptive parents are advised to meet the birth parents before the adoption is finalized.
If you're considering adopting a child, it's important to assess what kind of adoption policy best suits your family: open or closed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these adoption policies and which policy better suits your family? There is a wide range of adoption: confidential (closed); semi open (mediated) and open. A confidential adoption is one in which files about the birth parents are physically sealed; semi open adoptions in which contact between birth parents and adoptive parents is regulated through a mediator such as an attorney or case worker; and open, in which both sets of parents and the adopted child have direct contact information. Up until a few decades ago, all adoptions were closed. However, in recent years open adoptions have become increasingly popular in the United States because birth parents are increasingly interested in playing a role in choosing the type of home in which their child will be raised. Open Adoptions The advantages of an open adoption (which is also known as a fully disclosed adoption) are that both sets of parents have greater control over the adoption process; there is less mystery about the origins of the child and parents can answer his questions about the process candidly. Also in an open adoption, the child feels like she hasn't experienced a loss of a relationship; the child's family—both of them—is celebrated. However, adoptive parents sometimes feel threatened in fully disclosed adoptions. They fear that the birth parents might change their minds about the adoption, or even try to take the child away from them. A child is also more likely to ask questions about his parents if the adoption is open and might want to establish a connection with them, which again could threaten the adoptive parents' sense of security. Open relationships also often result in the adoptive parents feeling ambivalent about their role as parents. In this situation, communication is key to build trust and honesty between the two sets of parents. Another disadvantage of open adoption is that it can be difficult to maintain relationships between both sets of parents, especially if there are conflicts in values (how the child should be raised, for example), as well as religious or ethnic differences. It can be hard to balance the child's two heritages without overwhelming her or creating a confused sense of identity. Closed Adoptions Closed adoptions also have pros and cons. One possible advantage is that because there is no contact in this type of adoption (the name of the birth parents are not revealed), the adoptive parents may feel more secure about their role as parents. However, the adopted child may feel rejected because of the lack of information about their birth parents, and this can raise serious questions about her identity, as well as cause self-esteem issues and other emotional problems. The child might also worry about his parents' well-being and whether or not they are still alive. Indeed, closed adoptions are more likely to be problematic because, paradoxically, the lack of contact between child and birth parents can negatively affect the bond developed between child and adoptive parent. Another adoption route that's becoming increasingly popular is international adoption. While this form of adoption has its own drawbacks, notably the high cost and long waiting time, in 2003, American families adopted over 20 thousand foreign-born children, above all from China. When considering adoption it's important to weigh the pros and cons of each process. Find out what's right for your family, and don't feel pressured into taking a certain path. Accept the disadvantages of whatever process you choose, but don't overemphasize them, as that will only cause unnecessary stress. Remember that above all adoption is about giving a child a wonderful home he may not have otherwise had; it's about giving a child a life.
While domestic adoption rates in the United States have declined since the 1970s, the number of adoptions in the country still number 25 000 to 30 000 a year, a figure which represents an average of 19 000 more than international adoption rates. How Domestic Adoption Works The aim of the adoption process is to ensure a good fit for both the parents and the child they'd like to adopt. The first step for those interested in adopting a child is deciding on an adoption agency. Both public and private agencies exist. The best thing to do is ask family and friends for recommendations on agencies either they or people they know have used. This helps screen agencies and will help you find a successful agency that works for you more quickly. During the first meeting with the agency, the specifics of the adoption process will be discussed. The potential parents will be asked to fill out a variety of forms in order to begin their adoption file. Some adoption agencies require that individuals take classes in order to educate themselves on the process, which the agency itself often organizes. A home study conducted by a social worker follows, and is accompanied by interviews with the counselor and parents, both together and individually. A criminal check, fingerprinting references and medical history are also conducted. Next, the parents are matched with a child. This match is based on several factors, including location, finances, religion and ethnicity; factors with which the birth parents are increasingly involved. After the placement, a follow-up is conducted by the agency to ensure that the process has gone smoothly. Eligibility Requirements Eligibility requirements for domestic adoption vary from state to state. Birth families are becoming increasingly involved in the type of home into which their child will be adopted. This is known as an open adoption. Because of this, parents under 25 and over 45 will generally have a longer wait; also, couples and people with smaller families usually get selected more often than singles or families with several children. Babies must be born before birth parents can travel to a different state, although the exact length of time that must pass after the birth varies from a couple of days to several weeks, depending on the state. There are four main areas of criteria when adopting a child:
In 2002, American families adopted over 20 000 international children. But what does the international adoption process involve? And what are the pros and cons compared to domestic adoption? Reasons Why People Choose International Adoption People choose international adoption because they want to give an underprivileged child a better life. Also many individuals want to add diversity to their families, and so adding a child from a different ethnic or religious background enriches their lives. What's Involved When adopting a child from an overseas country, there are more factors to consider than in the domestic adoption process.
The first step is finding a reputable international adoption agency. Look for one with a long-standing track record; conduct your own research, ask friends and family for research and do your own reference checks on the agency itself as well on its owner. The rule of thumb is that you can never research an adoption agency enough. Consider which agencies best fit your needs and what country you're adopting from when making your decision. Adopting a foreign-born child requires patience. Citizenship issues, legal adoption and revoking the rights of the birth parents are steps to this process, which can take several months. Finances are another aspect to consider. Although international adoption can often be cheaper than domestic adoption because there are no high medical or legal bills, adoption costs vary widely and can soar up to $50 000. Expenses include the cost of travel. Plan ahead to avoid unnecessary stress. Who Qualifies: Requirements Country to Country Adoption laws vary according to the country from which a person wants to adopt. These laws can include criteria about age, income, marital stability, and the number of children a person already has; if a person is single, their gender is often taken into consideration Certain nations have more specific requirements. For example, some Korean agencies require that adoptive parents are not more than 30% over the normal weight for their height. Thailand and Sri Lanka do not allow single parents to adopt. And China, the country from which Americans adopt most often, requires that adoptive parents be a minimum of 30 years old, a number recently reduced from 35 years of age. Children are most commonly adopted from Asia, Eastern Europe and Latin America. Children from Canada, Australia and Western Europe are not eligible for adoption by Americans due to complex legal restrictions. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Adopting a Foreign Child Trans-racial adoption has many advantages. There is a great demand for adoption in overseas countries; also, after a home study is conducted, you are generally guaranteed a child. All foreign children are orphans by law so there is no worry that birth parents will change their mind about giving their child up for adoption. Adopting a child from another country is culturally enriching experience. However, adoptive parents don't always have access to the child's medical or family history. In addition, travel is often required, which can be costly. Also, it is very rare that prospective parents will be able to adopt a newborn child. Because foreign children up for adoption are generally older, barriers such as differences in language, greeting customs and displays of affection exist. Be aware of these differences, and respect them. Foster communication as best as possible. If you're considering adopting a foreign child, don't give up. Use all resources that are available to you to learn as much about the process as you can. International adoption brings with it unique challenges, but these can make the process that much more rewarding.
For those considering adoption, the idea of meeting the placing mother or parents can be very intimidating. The placing mother is the birth mother of the adopted child, and it is generally through a meeting with her that the adoptive parents are chosen. Therefore, it is no surprise that many find the experience borders on nerve-racking. That is why we have composed this guide to help you get through the initial meeting, while at the same time helping you to put your best food forward when meeting the birth mother. What to Expect Many adoption agencies recommend that potential adoptive parents meet the birth mother before finalizing the adoption. In this way, a connection can be made and realistic goals and expectations can be established before the child arrives. This is particularly important when an open adoption is being arranged. And while the prospect might seem daunting at first, many adoptive parents report the experience as being an immensely positive one. During this meeting, the adoptive parents, the birth mother and a social worker or adoption agency representative will all sit down to discuss the adoption. Questions regarding the adoption are generally reserved for the social worker or representative, while the birth mother and adoptive parents usually only intervene to ask getting-to-know-you type questions. Depending on the flow of conversation, the meetings usually last between 20 and 45 minutes. Advantages of Meeting the Birth Mother While meeting the birth parents will no doubt be an emotional part of the adoption process, it can often provide great satisfaction for all parties involved. Here are some good reasons to consider meeting the birth mother:
If you're considering adopting a child, it's important to assess what kind of adoption policy best suits your family: open or closed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these adoption policies and which policy better suits your family? There is a wide range of adoption: confidential (closed); semi open (mediated) and open. A confidential adoption is one in which files about the birth parents are physically sealed; semi open adoptions in which contact between birth parents and adoptive parents is regulated through a mediator such as an attorney or case worker; and open, in which both sets of parents and the adopted child have direct contact information. Up until a few decades ago, all adoptions were closed. However, in recent years open adoptions have become increasingly popular in the United States because birth parents are increasingly interested in playing a role in choosing the type of home in which their child will be raised. Open Adoptions The advantages of an open adoption (which is also known as a fully disclosed adoption) are that both sets of parents have greater control over the adoption process; there is less mystery about the origins of the child and parents can answer his questions about the process candidly. Also in an open adoption, the child feels like she hasn't experienced a loss of a relationship; the child's family—both of them—is celebrated. However, adoptive parents sometimes feel threatened in fully disclosed adoptions. They fear that the birth parents might change their minds about the adoption, or even try to take the child away from them. A child is also more likely to ask questions about his parents if the adoption is open and might want to establish a connection with them, which again could threaten the adoptive parents' sense of security. Open relationships also often result in the adoptive parents feeling ambivalent about their role as parents. In this situation, communication is key to build trust and honesty between the two sets of parents. Another disadvantage of open adoption is that it can be difficult to maintain relationships between both sets of parents, especially if there are conflicts in values (how the child should be raised, for example), as well as religious or ethnic differences. It can be hard to balance the child's two heritages without overwhelming her or creating a confused sense of identity. Closed Adoptions Closed adoptions also have pros and cons. One possible advantage is that because there is no contact in this type of adoption (the name of the birth parents are not revealed), the adoptive parents may feel more secure about their role as parents. However, the adopted child may feel rejected because of the lack of information about their birth parents, and this can raise serious questions about her identity, as well as cause self-esteem issues and other emotional problems. The child might also worry about his parents' well-being and whether or not they are still alive. Indeed, closed adoptions are more likely to be problematic because, paradoxically, the lack of contact between child and birth parents can negatively affect the bond developed between child and adoptive parent. Another adoption route that's becoming increasingly popular is international adoption. While this form of adoption has its own drawbacks, notably the high cost and long waiting time, in 2003, American families adopted over 20 thousand foreign-born children, above all from China. When considering adoption it's important to weigh the pros and cons of each process. Find out what's right for your family, and don't feel pressured into taking a certain path. Accept the disadvantages of whatever process you choose, but don't overemphasize them, as that will only cause unnecessary stress. Remember that above all adoption is about giving a child a wonderful home he may not have otherwise had; it's about giving a child a life.
While domestic adoption rates in the United States have declined since the 1970s, the number of adoptions in the country still number 25 000 to 30 000 a year, a figure which represents an average of 19 000 more than international adoption rates. How Domestic Adoption Works The aim of the adoption process is to ensure a good fit for both the parents and the child they'd like to adopt. The first step for those interested in adopting a child is deciding on an adoption agency. Both public and private agencies exist. The best thing to do is ask family and friends for recommendations on agencies either they or people they know have used. This helps screen agencies and will help you find a successful agency that works for you more quickly. During the first meeting with the agency, the specifics of the adoption process will be discussed. The potential parents will be asked to fill out a variety of forms in order to begin their adoption file. Some adoption agencies require that individuals take classes in order to educate themselves on the process, which the agency itself often organizes. A home study conducted by a social worker follows, and is accompanied by interviews with the counselor and parents, both together and individually. A criminal check, fingerprinting references and medical history are also conducted. Next, the parents are matched with a child. This match is based on several factors, including location, finances, religion and ethnicity; factors with which the birth parents are increasingly involved. After the placement, a follow-up is conducted by the agency to ensure that the process has gone smoothly. Eligibility Requirements Eligibility requirements for domestic adoption vary from state to state. Birth families are becoming increasingly involved in the type of home into which their child will be adopted. This is known as an open adoption. Because of this, parents under 25 and over 45 will generally have a longer wait; also, couples and people with smaller families usually get selected more often than singles or families with several children. Babies must be born before birth parents can travel to a different state, although the exact length of time that must pass after the birth varies from a couple of days to several weeks, depending on the state. There are four main areas of criteria when adopting a child:
- legal criteria: each state has different legal policies when it comes to adoption. These laws include whether or not a person who is not a resident of a certain state can adopt a child in that state
- preferred agency criteria: these are terms imposed by the agency itself in assisting adoptive parents, for example, the economic resources available to help each family
- criteria sought by the birth parents: this can include what ethnicity and religion the adoptive family is
- adopting parents criteria and limitations: these are self-imposed limitations, such as financial costs, age of the child, health
In 2002, American families adopted over 20 000 international children. But what does the international adoption process involve? And what are the pros and cons compared to domestic adoption? Reasons Why People Choose International Adoption People choose international adoption because they want to give an underprivileged child a better life. Also many individuals want to add diversity to their families, and so adding a child from a different ethnic or religious background enriches their lives. What's Involved When adopting a child from an overseas country, there are more factors to consider than in the domestic adoption process.
The first step is finding a reputable international adoption agency. Look for one with a long-standing track record; conduct your own research, ask friends and family for research and do your own reference checks on the agency itself as well on its owner. The rule of thumb is that you can never research an adoption agency enough. Consider which agencies best fit your needs and what country you're adopting from when making your decision. Adopting a foreign-born child requires patience. Citizenship issues, legal adoption and revoking the rights of the birth parents are steps to this process, which can take several months. Finances are another aspect to consider. Although international adoption can often be cheaper than domestic adoption because there are no high medical or legal bills, adoption costs vary widely and can soar up to $50 000. Expenses include the cost of travel. Plan ahead to avoid unnecessary stress. Who Qualifies: Requirements Country to Country Adoption laws vary according to the country from which a person wants to adopt. These laws can include criteria about age, income, marital stability, and the number of children a person already has; if a person is single, their gender is often taken into consideration Certain nations have more specific requirements. For example, some Korean agencies require that adoptive parents are not more than 30% over the normal weight for their height. Thailand and Sri Lanka do not allow single parents to adopt. And China, the country from which Americans adopt most often, requires that adoptive parents be a minimum of 30 years old, a number recently reduced from 35 years of age. Children are most commonly adopted from Asia, Eastern Europe and Latin America. Children from Canada, Australia and Western Europe are not eligible for adoption by Americans due to complex legal restrictions. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Adopting a Foreign Child Trans-racial adoption has many advantages. There is a great demand for adoption in overseas countries; also, after a home study is conducted, you are generally guaranteed a child. All foreign children are orphans by law so there is no worry that birth parents will change their mind about giving their child up for adoption. Adopting a child from another country is culturally enriching experience. However, adoptive parents don't always have access to the child's medical or family history. In addition, travel is often required, which can be costly. Also, it is very rare that prospective parents will be able to adopt a newborn child. Because foreign children up for adoption are generally older, barriers such as differences in language, greeting customs and displays of affection exist. Be aware of these differences, and respect them. Foster communication as best as possible. If you're considering adopting a foreign child, don't give up. Use all resources that are available to you to learn as much about the process as you can. International adoption brings with it unique challenges, but these can make the process that much more rewarding.
For those considering adoption, the idea of meeting the placing mother or parents can be very intimidating. The placing mother is the birth mother of the adopted child, and it is generally through a meeting with her that the adoptive parents are chosen. Therefore, it is no surprise that many find the experience borders on nerve-racking. That is why we have composed this guide to help you get through the initial meeting, while at the same time helping you to put your best food forward when meeting the birth mother. What to Expect Many adoption agencies recommend that potential adoptive parents meet the birth mother before finalizing the adoption. In this way, a connection can be made and realistic goals and expectations can be established before the child arrives. This is particularly important when an open adoption is being arranged. And while the prospect might seem daunting at first, many adoptive parents report the experience as being an immensely positive one. During this meeting, the adoptive parents, the birth mother and a social worker or adoption agency representative will all sit down to discuss the adoption. Questions regarding the adoption are generally reserved for the social worker or representative, while the birth mother and adoptive parents usually only intervene to ask getting-to-know-you type questions. Depending on the flow of conversation, the meetings usually last between 20 and 45 minutes. Advantages of Meeting the Birth Mother While meeting the birth parents will no doubt be an emotional part of the adoption process, it can often provide great satisfaction for all parties involved. Here are some good reasons to consider meeting the birth mother:
- Meeting the birth mother means having a great opportunity to reassure her of her decision. Being able to meet and know the family her child will be raised by often means she will be more likely to proceed with the adoption process.
- As adoptive parents, you will be more clear as to the birth mother's intentions with regard to the adoption and her thoughts and feelings surrounding it.
- You will also be able to find out the child's medical history.
- You will be able to explain to your child where she came from and why she was adopted.
- Everyone's roles, both of the birth parents and the adoptive parents, will be clearly defined.
- Listen. While this may sound painfully obvious, it is often one of the most difficult things to do in a meeting of this nature. Often we become so focused on our own thoughts that we become distracted, and instead of listening to everything a person is saying we only selectively hear what we feel will direct the conversation towards what we want to talk about. Be aware of this and as much as possible try to listen to everything the mother says. In addition to making your conversation more meaningful, this will also help to put her at ease about the fact that you are sincerely interested in wanting to adopt her child.
- Ask questions. While you don't want to drill her, it is important to show a genuine interest in her life and situation. Be sure not to judge her, or preach to her. Also, ask first if she would like to learn more about you before you talk about your own experiences.
- Demonstrate understanding. When we are talking, we send out cues to one another to show we are listening. Be aware of your eye contact, head nods, and the words you choose. By showing that you're tuned in, you will have a better chance of making a more personal connection with the birth mother.
